Super-Villain Parents Play Game with Child’s Life

By Patrick Hickey Jr.

Considering all of the things going on in the world today, it takes a mighty big shocker to get a reaction out of the public. However, with a war going on and a tornado hitting Bay Ridge a few weeks ago, I managed to find something else in the news that shocked me.

As a matter of fact, it left me more puzzled than a puppy chasing a laser pointer into a wall.

A couple in New Zealand wants to name their son, 4-real.

For real? Yes, 4-real.

It seems for some reason, the name isn’t permitted in the New Zealand government registry because it has a numeral in it. Obviously, this poor child’s plebeian parents are in an uproar because of it. While I myself feel that it is a parents right to name a child whatever they want, I don’t  think it’s in the best interest of the child to have to deal with the teasing and emotional scars that having a name like that will induce.

Maybe I’m just being Vulcan about this, but it doesn’t seem exactly logical to put your child in a situation where he/she has to defend themselves as soon as they jump out of the womb. Not even Stewie Griffin would be able to fight off the remarks that could end up ruining a life and creating emotional scars that couldn’t possibly lead the child down any type of successful road in the future.

Having the right to name your child whatever you want is an underappreciated privilege, regardless of what country you live in and shouldn’t be taken for granted. Even attempting to name your child something that ridiculous would border on the mentally insane. Just because you have the right to do something, doesn’t make it right in the big scheme of things.

It is because of this, that after originally hearing that the name was rejected, a part of me was happy that there are some government officials in this world that still have morals and understand that they have a responsibility for the welfare of the general public. However, a few weeks later, the couple, in an obvious stroke of genius that had to involve some kind of hallucinogenic drug, decided that if they can’t name their child 4-real, they’ll name him something else.

Superman.

Being a huge comic book fan myself, never in my right mind would I name anything but a pet after a character that I fancied. These people have taken it upon themselves to play a social and political experiment with their own child. If they were characters in a comic book, they would be the villains, not the New Zealand government. How dare these people ruin their child’s life before he even gets a chance to speak his first word.

Both of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

I don’t know, maybe because I come from a place where all children go through a phase called the teenage years, when it’s a natural occurrence to hate their parents, that I find this situation extremely odd. Patrick and Sheena Wheaton, why would you want to rush the process? Your child is going to have his entire life to resent you and hate your guts for a plethora of reasons, why would you want to ruin the great period of adolescence because you felt the need to play politics with your child’s life?

I think I have the answer.

Complete and utter idiocy and maybe some paint chips that were eaten during both of the pregnancies that led to the births of these parents, because anyone with half a brain would never put their child in a situation like that; it makes absolutely no sense.

Not even in Bizarro world.

For the past four years, American society has become split into two entities, one that supports the war in Iraq and one that doesn’t.

Regardless of ones opinion on why we’re in Iraq, it would be impossible to deny the negative spin the media has put on this war, making it seem that Americans are dying every second of the time they occupy Iraq, when in reality, nothing could be farther more than the truth.

This negative spin on the war in Iraq by our media is a bi-product of the feelings many American politicians have towards war in general, not the situation at hand in Iraq.

For instance, during the Vietnam War, politicians like John Kerry, John McCain and Ted Kennedy were either involved directly in the war, fighting for our country, or in Kennedy’s case, were just beginning their political careers. The things they experienced during this time continue to affect their judgment to this day.

What is also very important is that the war in Vietnam not only cemented a whole generation’s view on war, it made things like undermining your countries government commonplace, totally destroying the patriotic aura many Americans had during the first two world wars. The cliché that history often repeats itself couldn’t be truer in this situation.

Human beings are for the most part empiricists, using the knowledge they have attained in their lives to play a part in their future decisions. In the case of Operation Iraqi Freedom, middle-aged Americans who saw the hardships of Vietnam are making the mistake of thinking these two wars are one in the same, when they are in fact extremely different.

For instance, during the Vietnam War from 1957- 1975, 58,202 Americans were killed compared to 2,455 since Operation Iraqi Freedom began on March 19, 2003. Our current war is also against a radical group of Muslim terrorists, rather than an entire country like the war in Vietnam.

You would think that these huge differences would be enough for the old coats in our government to understand that this war is not another Vietnam, but it isn’t. In recent years, former presidential candidate Howard Dean gained enormous popularity among America’s youth in opposing the war. John Kerry’s opposition of the war also produced legions of young voters who now believe that war is not a realistic answer for peace.

While my view on the war maybe entirely different than theirs, I do respect their right to have their own opinion. I do, however believe that rather than listen to a bunch of middle-aged politicians, who, never in their lives ever wanted to fight for this country, our youth should listen to their hearts and make an informed and educated decision regarding their stance on this war, rather listen to a bloodline filled with idiocy or someone that voted against the war before they voted for it.

Olympics Games No Longer A Thrill

By Patrick Hickey Jr

Now that the dust has settled on the 2006 Olympics, one thing can be said; the event was a complete flop.

Gone forever is the passion of athletes, fighting for world supremacy on the biggest stage of them all. Even sports that require the utmost amount of hustle and emotion, like hockey, felt more like a tee-ball game, rather than a sport that thrives on competition.

Speed skating and skiing were no better, as Americans were forced to watch not only Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis argue like babies, but also fell victim to the idiotic actions of one Bode Miller.

Too busy straddling both starting gates and playboy playmates at Turin than bringing home the gold for his country, Miller’s actions have forever cemented him in the world of sports’ biggest washouts. To have so much talent and so many opportunities (15 to be exact) to win a medal and go home empty-handed, is unforgivable.

If Miller had given it his all however, it would have been another story.

I blame this situation on the Olympic Committee. When one of your athletes attracts more attention when he’s drunk in a nightclub rather than doing what he’s supposed to be the best in the world at, you have a serious problem.

Why would you let this buffoon run around like this and disgrace his country? Miller treated the Olympics more like a three-week vacation than a chance to create a legacy. Why wasn’t anyone on the Olympic Committee making sure he didn’t get a chance to go out drinking and frequenting nightclubs?

It’s because almost everyone, including the athletes, don’t take the games seriously anymore. The way the games are structured, the scoring methods and tournament structure, aren’t the best way to find out who the best in the world really is.

Those are things that need to be fixed before the games can capture the hearts of the viewing audience again, rather than playing second fiddle to “Dancing with the Stars.”

Otherwise, Bode Miller and his friends will have even more reason to find scantily clad women in foreign lands to take pictures with.

Professors That Can’t Keep Their Political Opinions Out Of The Classroom....Get Out

By Patrick Hickey Jr

For hundreds of years, college has often been a breeding ground for the philosophies and ideologies that shape the minds of generations. In college, students are free to share their political agendas without harm of what society may think, making college a one of a kind experience.

College is the only place in the world where a gay-liberal, heterosexual-conservative and bi-sexual-independent can learn about anything they want, regardless of what they do and support in their personal lives. With such a wide range of perspectives, college is a great place to widen one’s horizons, by interacting with as many different people as possible.

But what happens when professors have problems shedding their political and emotional opinions to the point where it’s impossible for them to teach a class without incorporating their ideologies on the subject? Think it never happens? Your wrong, it does. Everyday in this country students in all facets of learning hear different versions of history, depending on what their teachers own opinions are. It needs to stop.

“I dislike it greatly (When teachers inject their political agendas in the classroom),” said former KCC student and current Hunter college student Dean Ciaramella. “Teachers are perverting history to recruit or rather brainwash the next generation. One of my teachers (At Hunter College) hands out liberal website propaganda and calls it fact.”

Regardless of your political persuasion, something imperative to the learning experience needs to be understood. Changing history to suit your own needs is flat out ignorant and teachers need to realize if you teach your views to knowledge-absorbent teens that don’t know what the facts really are, you’re implementing your ignorance to hundreds of students that deserve to understand both sides of the story.

For mediocre professors, keeping your views out of your profession may be a hard thing, but considering the reason that many of you began teaching in the first place was to educate the masses, rather than brainwash them, the choice is simple; keep your political opinions out of the classroom. It’s ruining the right any student has that doesn’t agree with you has to voice their opinion, thus ruining the true meaning of college.

Give that young gay-liberal, heterosexual-conservative and bi-sexual-independent every opportunity to find out the truth by presenting them with the facts, not your own personal beliefs on the subject. If your opinions are that just, then the students will agree with you after they have had an opportunity to see enough material on the subject. That’s what teaching is supposed to be about.

No Excuse for Illiteracy

By Patrick Hickey Jr

Usually when someone is illiterate, their horizon for accomplishment is pretty small. Not being able to read or write is a huge disadvantage for anyone in today’s world. Just imagine how hard it must be to function on a daily basis without the fundamental tools of reading and writing. It would take a crafty individual to accomplish their dreams while hiding the fact that they were illiterate.

That brings us to Jacques Demers, former NHL Stanley cup winning coach of the Montreal Canadiens and former general manager of the Tampa Bay Lightning. In a biography that recently hit the shelves entitled, "Jacques Demers: En Toutes Lettres," loosely translated to “All Spelled Out,” Demers said his illiteracy was brought upon by an abusive and impoverished childhood.

"All I wanted from my father was to treat me with love," Demers said in the biography written by Canadian journalist Mario LeClerc. "Not to beat me up when I did something wrong. Not to beat up my mom. It really hurt me because he took away my childhood.”

"The other thing I wanted to say was that if I could not write or read, it was because I had so much of a problem with anxiety because of the things going on in the family. I couldn't go to sleep at night. I'd go to school and I couldn't learn anything."

I can see the crocodile tears running down Demers eyes like he was being interviewed by Barbra Walters now. What does being poor and abused as a child have to do with being able to read and write? FDR came from a poor family and he became one of the greatest presidents this country has ever had; and what about Fredric Douglas, a slave who risked his life to educate himself? The man wound up writing books by the time he died.

So Mr. Demers, please save society the pity party. Everyone in this world has made sacrifices and had to endure to get where they are. Making excuses and justifying one’s weaknesses due to the way they were raised is pure nonsense that only works when trying to create melodrama in a shoddy afternoon soap opera.

Being illiterate is one thing, but hiding it from the world and then sucking the intelligence from others like a dirty vampire is another. Demers did just that when he was coaching, hiding his illiteracy from the world and making his secretaries and media-relations people write his letters for him because he claimed his English wasn’t good enough.

What is even more shocking is that when Demers was the general manager of the Tampa Bay Lightning, he hired Cliff Fletcher and Jay Feaster as assistants to handle contracts he couldn't read.

"I never really was a GM," he said. "I hired Cliff Fletcher and Jay Feaster because I knew I couldn't do that."

It’s funny how someone like Demers could succeed in life feeding off the intelligence and hard work of other people. In a party promoting the launch of his biography, he seemed more focused on having his illiteracy rationalized than admitting that he took advantage of people in lower stations in life that him.

"I have no problem saying what I wanted to say. That's what I needed," he said. "I've been carrying this all my life. I succeeded, and I'm telling people 'you're capable of doing something in your life even if you have some big handicaps. "

A handicap is something that impairs one to act. Illiteracy without a learning disability is a by-product of laziness. Considering that Demers admitted he didn’t do his job as GM of the Lightning, he should give Fletcher and Feaster a piece of the earnings that his biography makes, but then again Demers wouldn’t be able to write the check.

The Truth Behind The Katrina Disaster

By Patrick Hickey Jr

Now that the dust has begun to settle on the Katrina Disaster, it’s great to see that many things the average American was unaware of about the disaster are now coming to light.

While the average American was first to place the blame on President Bush, it has now come to the attention of the country that New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin declined the opportunity to use 500 public buses to evacuate the citizens of New Orleans and Governor Kathleen Blanco told President Bush that she needed 24 hours to think about calling in the national guard to help New Orleans before the hurricane devastated the city.

“I need 500 buses, man,” said Nagin in an interview WWL radio on September 1. “One of the briefings we had they were talking about getting, you know, public school bus drivers to come down here and bus people out of here. I’m like- you’ve got to be kidding me. This is a natural disaster. Get every doggone Greyhound bus line in the country and get their asses moving to New Orleans.”

… Wow. Not only does the mayor of New Orleans sound like an extra from “The Dukes of Hazzard”, he’s probably just as smart as Jessica Simpson. While Nagin was waiting for a greyhound fleet to evacuate the citizens out of the proverbial sink that New Orleans became, the only means of getting out of New Orleans, those 500 buses, were rendered unusable by the harsh weather.

Now I ask you this question Mr. Nagin, what is the difference between a public school bus and a greyhound bus besides some minor comfort issues? The residents of New Orleans didn’t have much to begin with in the first place; I’m sure they would have been glad to get out of New Orleans on a matchbox if they could have. If you believe Nagin’s incompetence is outrageous, just listen to Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu defend him.

“Mayor Nagin and most mayors in this country have a hard time getting their people to work on a sunny day, let alone getting them out of the city in front of a hurricane,” said Landrieu on Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace on September 11. “And it’s because this administration and administrations before them do not understand the difficulties that mayors- whether they are in Orlando, Miami, or New Orleans- face. In other words, this administration did not believe in mass transit.”

Landrieu then went on to say that it was time to stop the finger pointing and start the rebuilding. Right after she said that she asked the White House to stop sending out press releases blaming local government officials.

 I’m no state senator, but that sounds like finger pointing to me. It’s a travesty when someone in a position of power like Landrieu puts down the people that voted her into office and then can’t even follow her own advice. I wonder if Landrieu even knows that it’s the governor’s job to call in the National Guard in the case of an emergency, not the President’s.

With such a level of wanton incompetence in the local government of New Orleans, Americans were forced to see the natural state of humanity without law, seeing police officers looting and have massive killing and rape become commonplace. Let’s hope that this is the last time Americans have to see what happens when local government officials can’t do their job.